quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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