so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
