apparently the secret to your success is patron
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Randomize
