I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
