Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
