Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Randomize
