And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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