His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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