You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
