when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Just pee around me
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
