Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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