i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
