Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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