Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
