Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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