East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
