Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
