You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Randomize
