she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
