There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
