For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I have feelings that need drinking.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize