Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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