sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
