If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
