i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I need water and some morals
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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