My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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