you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
