Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Randomize
