i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
