Your face is a jimmy john
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
