im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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