Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
