She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Is this like a preordered booty call?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize