alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
