You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
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