I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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