just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
