How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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