My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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