Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
