This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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