Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Duck Duck Cougar?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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