Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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