We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
