were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
