Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
