Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
