I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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