Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
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