you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
