Your tits are I can't wait for
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
