I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
