kristin has been a bad kristin
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Randomize
