Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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