Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
