he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
