Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
My vagina is very pro this idea
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
