hotel room ftw
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize