So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize