I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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