i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Randomize
