Do you still have your period?
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I think your dad took our porno
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
