he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
