No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
