sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
