Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
