O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
