Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
