By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Randomize
