You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
