new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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