Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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