Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
