If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
