I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
