pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
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