I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
