I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
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