I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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