coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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