either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Randomize
