I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
