Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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