just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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