I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
