pedialite and red bull = repair kit
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
